What does myself look from the outside? Still am I that medium sized girl I was before? I was starting to loose track of not only the dates, but of my own very self. I cant' seem to get the image of ma telling me to leave the house to find a job, she made it sound as if she dont' want me no more. I understand other teen hobos who leave cuz they moms and dads dont got enough money or food to feed a lotta mouths, but it aint like that with ma. I only got two younger sisters. But ma decided to make me leave to find my own life and learn how to survive. i guess we was that poor that ma and pa could not feed one more mouth. Right now am in the train with 3 other hobos. (2 boys and 1 girl) They all seem bout the same size as me (about 15), but i too shy to ask they name or age. I wonder if they too got same ma's and pa's like i who cant have them under their roof no more. i stare at the small bag i packed. Inside i got a small mug of water, a few loaves of bread, and just another pair of shoes. But shoes that probably wont be able to fit on my feet pretty soon cuz of all the sores i might have from running an jumping. i plan to get off on indiana and start my life there. ill look for a job til i find something. if not i will have to be a begger on the streets just like i was back with ma and pa. myself is letting fears attack me. what if they find us on the train? what if i never make it to idiana? what if die from starvation? all these questions go on my head minute by minute. but i try to forget it and move on, but they soon come back to me minutes later. i myself feels sad cuz i never wanted to leave home or my sisters or ma or pa. right now i feel like i will throw up from how much i feel i have starved.today was the first day of my nightamre jumping into the train at first i thought i was never was gonna make it, but ma told me to have faith in me and my legs will function just exactly how i want them to function. i heard the choo choo of the train far off into the distance, and before i knew it my stomach starting pounding so fast i felt as if i was going to faint. it came closer and closer, and soon it was right in front of me and i told myself i was doing this for my good, not for ma's or pa's. i set my feet apart and leaped out towards the train. at first i thouht in my mind i wont gonna make it into the train. i landed on the lower stair of the way to the top of the train. the 3 other threw themselves on too and they boy told me to get inside of the inner of the train. i knew that once jumping into that train i would be leaving not only my family, but my childhood.... all those good childhood memories have gone to wasted. and now im going into a new world, were i dunno what my god damn future holds. hopefully i can come back to ma and pa and show them that i can come back to them and show them wrong that i can live independently. just hopefully.....
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